I know most people have heard that words matter, but I'm addressing the words we say in our head. Our internal dialogue also matters. In fact, our internal dialogue is what sets our vibration.
Do you know what those words are inside of your head? Do you hear them? Most of the time they go unnoticed and we aren't aware of the chatter. This chatter is your internal compass setter. Negative chatter leads to external negative experiences most of the time, while positive internal chatter leads to more fulfilling, positive life experiences. We can try to be positive with our words, but if your internal chatter is constantly putting you down and/or judging then that is the vibration or energy you are attracting to you.
Changing the internal dialogue takes patience and time. Realising and finding some solid positive sayings like, "I am perfect just as I am." Or "I am amazing and a gift to this world." These sayings, at first, will probably not feel true to you, but imagine if they were true. Imagine if you were perfect just as you are- flaws and all. If you can imagine it is true then try and feel how that might feel. If you can reach the place that you can feel it then you can retrain your mind to think it to be true.
Now, I know that you think there is work to be done on yourself and, honestly, we all do. But there will always be work to be done on yourself. You will never be done. So embrace who you are now, as you are now. Feel that feeling that you are perfect. In that space of feeling perfect you will attract to you circumstances, people and events that will reinforce how you are exactly as you are- perfect.
Once you establish an uplifting saying about yourself that you can feel when you imagine if it were true, start paying attention to what you say to yourself. You will, at first, keep saying the negative chatter, but once you've caught yourself being negative repeat the positive saying. More than that, try and feel how the positive saying felt when you imagined if it were true and try and stay in that feeling.
In addition to having a positive saying that lifts you up, try to meditate. Meditation puts space between our thoughts and allows us to be more aware of them. If you are new to mediation then explore. There are many forms of meditation. Find one that resonates with you. Meditation is to be fully aware in a moment. You can bring your full awareness to any activity you enjoy. Being fully present in the moment and not letting your mind wander will allow you to be aware of your thoughts that try to sneak in.
Another easy way to know what is your internal dialogue is how you react to something you see as a mistake, either yours or others. Do you judge? Do you use degrading words such as "stupid, dumb, idiot?" This is a good indicator of your internal dialogue. Once your inner chatter changes to being mostly positive, you start lifting others when they make 'mistakes'.
When my son came to me one of his lessons was that there are no mistakes. Nothing happens that isn't supposed to happen. This took a heavy weight off of me thinking I had to fix things. I don't. Conor is exactly as he is supposed to be. He is perfect. I can only see his perfection because I have accepted my perfection. We can't see in others that which we cannot first see in ourselves.
Life is so amazing when you really look at it. When you realise that nothing needs fixed and that every, single one of us is a gift unto this earth just as we are- flaws and all, then you realise how much of a gift life, in all its variations, is.